Author: Rowena Francis

Hi, we are Brian & Sherianne Ciaramitaro! On our channel we talk about our faith, spirituality, everyday life, + more! (…laced with a little humour too!) *Disclaimer: Occasionally I am sent products for free for testing purposes. Also, some links are affiliate links which means I make a small percentage off the sale, but it does not cost you anything. All opinions are always my own.

Big Church to Small Church – What’s In My Bag?

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For 30 years, I lived my life in big church. My neighbour invited my sister and I out to a kids program at a church when I was 7. Since then, God & faith became my whole world. Big church is a whole dynamic – many people show up to do the work at a building that has a main purpose of doing church, with all the equipment already set up. Even if only 20% of the people were doing 80% of the work (like volunteer life once was), the work still gets done. For a season, I never batted an eye at the responsibilities we had as volunteers – there was always a team of people around.

Then one day, big church changed to small church for us. What was once show up and focus on your individual duties became all hands on deck. We no longer had our own building with everything set up – we have to show up and transform a banquet hall into a church within 2 hours, then tear it all down again after the service. I’m not going to talk about our process today (let me know if you’re interested though), but due to this process, there are things that I have to bring back and forth to church every week. If you know me, you know that I always want to find the most organized way to do something – even if it means weeding through many different ideas and products. So, what’s in my bag?

My first hurdle was actually finding a bag strong enough to handle the equipment I was lugging around, large enough to fit it all, easy enough to maneuver, and fashionable – cause there’s no need to be boring! I started with a rolling suitcase (and I actually still use it for our check-in/registration items), but last year I found a bag that I love! It fits everything (including my 40oz water cup), it is very durable, and the best part – it’s super cute! My bag is from a brand called Poppy & Peonies and I am absolutely sold on it! It fits everything I need on a weekly basis.

First things first, I have to bring my laptop, tablet, and phone with me. I use my tablet for chord charts when I’m playing keys, to see the order of service for announcements, and I also use it for my preaching notes and Bible. I also have my concordance on there, so if I need to check on something mid-preaching, I can. My phone is used for communications (like texting my MD mid-service to say ‘impromptu end of service song – be ready!’) and mixing my IEMs. The laptop is mostly there for anything that may come up on the fly. I’ve also been connecting it to our sound board so I have a copy of the mix that I can refer back to during the week.

IEMs. In ear monitors. These are the greatest thing since sliced bread. If you’re not on the worship team, these are the headphones we use to hear the music mix in our ears instead of having a wedge monitor on the floor of the stage. I won’t get into much on these, but they help keep the stage noise clean so our audio engineers can mix from a good starting point. I was using the KZ ZSN Pro X from Amazon for a bit, but in 2024 I went to Florida and found an incredible pair that I love (they have an ambient filter, so I can still hear the real world around me).

Obviously, when you’re toting around electronics, you need to have a pouch to keep all of your cords and memory cards/sticks organized. I have this one, but I will likely need to upgrade to a larger one like this. I pack this with a charging block, a few different types of charging cords, a backup charger, usb drive, and my watch charger (I feel pretty lost without my watch on Sunday mornings).

Water is a staple and in big church we had water fountains. In small church, we have to bring our own water, or fill up in the bathroom sink (no thanks). When you’re singing/talking for 4 hours straight, you need a lot of hydration! I have tried many water cups (except a Stanley), and this 40oz Simple Modern one keeps my ice and water perfectly. A little hack I use for hydration is adding Electrolytes powder to my water. It tastes like pink lemonade and is very refreshing when you’re exerting so much vocally – and 40oz will last me during the service.

Speaking of vocals, for a short time our singers were struggling with vocal fatigue, sore throats, etc. We eventually realized that it was an attack from the enemy (let me know if you ever want to talk on the attacks of witchcraft). We fought that spiritually, but in those practical moments we used some great products to help keep us powering through. I found this great throat spray and cough drops that are very soothing. They have a permanent spot in my bag, regardless of the state of my voice.

Another thing I need in my bag is admin items. With small church, the pastor wears many hats, and one of my hats is administration. So boring, I know. I’m constantly needing to bring documents for people, so I keep an accordion file organizer filled with envelopes and pens.

Doing small church over the last 4.5 years has been an incredible learning curve, but it has been an amazing experience. Remembering to charge everything and pack it all up every Saturday evening is probably the biggest challenge. Bringing things, setting everything up, tearing everything down, keeping it all in order has been a hidden blessing. Week after week, we watch our team work together in unity, each one doing their part and more to serve in the house of God. Toting things back and forth to the church – it’s worth every moment.

Let The Music Play

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When I was a kid, I felt like my days in school were never-ending. After I graduated high school, I constantly had dreams that I forgot to do my homework, wasn’t prepared for a test, or simply that I forgot to get dressed. I would wake up, relieved that I no longer had that pressure on me.

Little did I know…

Learning doesn’t stop once you graduate from the governmental structure of the educational system. Learning is something that will always be a part of our lives, no matter how old we grow. If you stop learning (or detest it), you will grow stagnant and complacent in your life. That’s a dark road to walk, and it will ultimately lead to one’s demise.

Over the course of the last 10 years, I have found myself needing to learn very detailed and specific things. At times, I have grown quite frustrated when that need has presented itself. I would often use the rhetoric that for once it would be nice if something just came easy or natural. Except that’s not the way life works. I’ve come to realize that even when it looks like something comes easy for someone, there is usually a whole lot happening behind the scenes that I am not privy to.

Psalm 33:3 says, ‘Sing to Him a new song; Play skillfully with a shout of joy.’ This Scripture has been pivotal in my journey of learning over the last 3 years. I chuckle when I think about the first time I played keys on stage during worship. Very few people knew I liked to play the piano secretly in my own home. We, being the lead pastors, arrived at church one Sunday morning and the worship leader informed us that there was no one to play keys. Someone piped up and offered my services in front of the group. Of course, when you lead a small church, you have to have a willingness to do whatever is needed, even if it’s not your area of expertise. So, I decided to play.

Hold on, because I’m not sure you fully grasp the magnitude of that decision.

I was not a skilled musician. I’m not even sure I could call myself an actual musician. I was a girl who tinkered around on a piano at home. I didn’t know how to keep timing. I didn’t know there was such a thing as different keys. I didn’t know how to follow a click. I didn’t know how to function with IEM (in-ear monitors). I didn’t know how to play with anyone else. I had never played in front of anyone, let alone in front of 150 people. What I did know was how to play a few chords, and that when God asks you to do something, He equips you. I stepped out – and I would love to say that I played the most beautiful sound ever, but I didn’t. I messed up royally. That’s why I chuckle every time I think about it.

You know what? No one even bats an eye at my mistakes a few years later. What people remember is that the pastor just did what was needed in the moment it was needed. It sparked an inspiration (IYKYK) for multiple people to step out into unknown territory and try something they’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t want to feel silly or stupid in front of anyone.

A short time after I started playing keys, we found ourselves in need of a worship leader. We spread the word about it, but nothing came to fruition. So, our philosophy in leadership and life has been, if there’s a need and no one to fill it, as the leaders of this house, God’s grace will be there for me to fill that role.

I began diving into learning everything I could about music, playing on stage with a band, and creating an atmosphere of unity and worship. In my ‘spare’ time, I worked on my skills. I took a course on learning how to play the keys. I practiced hours and hours each day. I took courses in learning how to lead a band. I signed up for a singing course. I hired a music teacher. I took a few courses on sound engineering and mixing. I researched, learned, applied, failed, researched again, learned more, applied again, fixed some things, failed a bit more, etc, etc.

Fast forward a few years. Here we are in 2025. Am I a great musician? No. Am I a great leader? No. Am I perfect? Not even close. Am I more skilled than I was 3 years ago? Absolutely. Why? Not because it came easy or natural. Not because I was fearless and knew I could do it. It was because I have a firm belief that we are all called to be true worshippers. For me, learning these skills is helping me flow much easier in leading others into the presence of God. I know God’s purpose for me in this directive. It hasn’t been easy, I have cried, lost sleep, battled the mental fight, battled negative comments, battled the feeling of being an imposter, given up personal time and my days off, and subjected my family to odd and loud vocal workouts at 4am. Yet, I wouldn’t change a thing. Growth happens when we press on through the struggle. The thing that helps me weed out the worry of what others think of me is simply, I want to do this. I enjoy doing this. The only person’s opinion of me that truly matters – God. And since I know from His Word what He says about me, I find comfort and peace in who I am.

Learning is fun. Keep growing, keep pressing on, know God’s purpose for your life – and don’t let the enemy convince you otherwise. Whatever He has asked you to do, do it as unto God and not unto men (see Colossians 3:23).

Live Thriving, or Die Trying

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“You used to be fun.”

Ouch. Used to? I used to be fun? As in, I’m not anymore?

Gotta love conversations with teenagers. Except it didn’t come from our teenagers – it was an in-passing comment from my husband.

I pulled up my good ole instagram account and began looking through my old posts (including all my archived ones too). One by one, I started reminiscing about the things we used to do or say…like our nicknames for each other – pumpkin and squash. Original, I know. Yet, even now, it’s making me smile just thinking about it. I was cleaning out the file cabinet in my office and came across a folder containing sentimental items. I found the love notes I would hide in my hubby’s lunch bag – and his written responses.

Somewhere along the way, life became a bit more serious. Between 2016 and 2020, I was on a rollercoaster that I desperately needed to exit – but I couldn’t walk away because our whole life was entwined in that journey. Leaving that rollercoaster would mean that we would be walking away from everything we loved and lived for – and most importantly, the place God had planted us. Staying planted where God put us was a non-negotiable in our lives. We would live thriving, or die trying – but we weren’t moving without God’s directive.

In that time, I realized that everything I did was at the approval/disapproval of anyone else. I had forgotten how to have fun and enjoy the life I was living. So, I started a blog…and a YouTube channel. I loved it! It gave me a little creative outlet and helped me to view myself as a regular human being – not just a robot. Then it happened.

Judgement.

All of a sudden, people who had their own perception of me began using phrases like ‘you are an embarrassment (to me)’ or ‘do you really think God approves of you’ and so on and so on. For some reason, certain people have had viewpoints that pastors and leaders in Christian ministry can’t express themselves as regular people who love God and also like fashion, working out, makeup, etc. Comments and things like that made me question whether it was possible to be in ministry and still have fun in life. I started to set aside my creativity because I know God has planted me in full-time ministry. Live thriving, or die trying.

However!

Anyone who has been in full-time ministry understands that it is a life that has the utmost fulfillment, but also has times of great sorrow and exhaustion. I often chuckle at the Apostle Paul when he stated that he was hard-pressed between staying here and doing God’s will or departing to be with Christ (see Philippians 1:23-26). Ministry life is beautiful, but also challenging. Being with Christ is everything we live for. If you set aside the creativity that God instilled inside of you, it can make things much harder to deal with. Like Paul, I say, for your sake, I’m going to live thriving, or die trying.

Judgement from others will always be there. If you live by their praises, you’ll die by their criticism. It’s true. Be who God has created you to be – and know that you can enjoy that life.

22 years ago, I made specific vows to my husband – to be a God-fearing woman of integrity, virtue, uprightness of character and excellence of spirit, AND to make a comfortable home for him. Joy and happiness is all part of that. My focus in this next season is to incorporate more laughter into our everyday personal and ministerial lives – which means he’s probably going to hear a lot more about random things that make me smile. As if I already don’t talk enough.

Jehovah Ori

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Recently, we were sitting around the table eating Sushi with some fellow pastors studying doctrine by Kevin J. Conner. This particular day, we were discussing that the Bible is the inspired Word of God and infallible. I know that this may seem basic but in a world that calls good evil and evil good, the integrity of God’s word has been watered down, altered and changed by many.

In our dialogue about the Holy Scriptures, we recognized several truths:
1. Scripture came to us by the revelation of God
2. Inspiration is the process by which the revelation was written down
3. Illumination is the process by which the Holy Spirit enlightens us to understand what was already revealed.

In the end, what this is communicating is that there is no new revelation of God’s Word, but illumination of it. It made us think of the loose way we use terminology that actually matters. This word illumination (comes from the root word illuminate) and speaks of shining light on, providing insight and clarity. All of a sudden, I was reminded that Jesus is the light. He is Jehovah Ori “The Light”. Let’s look into what this name means to us.

 “The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear?…” (Psalm 27:1) That word “light” is Ori (H0216) from illumination and directly means light. 

Jesus himself makes this statement in John 8:12, “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I AM the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.””

When God uses the term “I AM”, He is declaring that He is the fullness of Light itself. There is no darkness in him. Darkness is defined by the absence of light. It can’t overtake the light (John 1:5). It is also a Biblical representation of evil and lack of knowledge. 

The Bible speaks often of things that are done (hidden, plotted and secret things) in darkness but are exposed in light. For example, “For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” (Luke 8:17) OR “It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him.” (Daniel 2:22). 

This is what I love the most about Jehovah Ori, He is an exposer of darkness. He unravels lies and deception as they can’t hide in the light. It is why it is fundamental that we live in the light. It is a bearer of truth of righteousness. Don’t be deceived, God operates in the light and so should we. 

All this is summed up very well in 1 John 1:5-9:

“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Jesus (as the light) bears witness to the truth (John 18:37) and we who follow him recognize it. We are also designed to be lights in this world. As bearers of truth and the light (Christ) we are not to hide that witness of the glory of God but to proclaim it as Jehovah Ori lights our light in this world.

 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

Before we finish discussing about Jehovah Ori, there is one more really important attribute that this name provides to us. Light gives us direction. (Psalm 119:105…light unto my path). Ori guides us, shows us the way, and protects us from the hazards of this world. We need the direction of God everyday, and the clarity that the light provides is just that.

As the light of the world, Jehovah will forever be the light even in the world to come (Revelation 21:23).

Let’s pray.

Father God, I thank you that you are the Light of the world. You are the fullness of Light itself. You shine bright and illuminate my way this day. Reveal to me the impurities of my heart as your light shines upon me. Show me the truth this day. Keep me from lies and deception. Shine upon those things that are hidden and done in secret. Evil schemes and plotting that only you can expose. You only are Light. Let my life be a light to others and let me do so with boldness as I reflect your Glory.

Freedom

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Hollywood has produced many films over the years of great stories of men and women fighting tyranny for their freedom. One of the best of these tales is that of the Scottish Wars of Independence captured in Braveheart at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. Although the movie is not for the faint in heart, there is a scene often used in media to rally the troops.

The Scots have all gathered to fight when they realize they are outmatched and begin to flee before the battle. Just as this occurs, William Wallace arrives on the scene and has an exchange with his fellow Scots.

William: I AM William Wallace. And I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What would you do without freedom? Will you fight?

Veteran soldier: Fight? Against that? No, we will run; and we will live.

Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you’ll live — at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom!!!

Everyone goes nuts, the army starts screaming, life returns to the men, you jump off your couch ready to go to war yourself. The Scots go on and win that battle and eventual the war.

So fast forward to 2021 and on every street corner there are people standing on soapboxes shouting at tyranny and seeking freedom from oppressors. From age to age our freedom has been under siege. For some it is from the government, for others it is a system, others still it’s a cultural battle. All of these very real and progressive situations.

Over my life, I’ve experienced many evils through the hands of others. Control, abuse, gaslighting, lies and slander. Situations where I felt locked up and put in a box with my freedoms taken away. In the dark moments and the ongoing trauma that came afterwards, my heart lead me to the words of David “I sought the Lord and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalms 34:4).

It was in this in the absolute truth of God’s Word that revelation was illuminated to me concerning the freedom I so desperately sought. There were 3 main things that Christ revealed to me, the first was “The truth will set you free” (John 8:32). There is freedom in truth. It’s not complicated, it’s not “My Truth” or “Your Truth”, its’ simply “The Truth”. God’s Word and Himself (John 14:6), is “The Truth” is not up for debate and as I understood the source of truth being God alone…freedom came.

The second thing that I was drawn to was “For you were called to freedom brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13) and “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the King” (1 Peter 2:16). These both speak forth that our freedom is not to be used for our selfish ambitions but for serving and loving one another in the Fear of God with honour. Our freedom is not routed in earthly things but in the Kingdom of God. Which brings me to the last truth.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). This is the key to the whole thing, where God is present, freedom exists. The absence of Him, brings bondage. This is why Christ who had the Spirit of the Lord upon spoke “I have come proclaim the captives free, and to recovery the sight of the blind; to set at liberty the oppressed.” (Luke 4:18)

There is freedom where God’s Spirit is. God’s spirit lives in me. This tells me that my freedom, no matter what another has imposed upon me can never take my freedom because God almighty lives in ME…and where He dwells is freedom.

Today I celebrate my freedom and the Spirit of the Lord that is with me. May 21st is “Freedom Day” and I celebrate the gifts of life that come with it.

In A Snowy Pit

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Would you ever run into a deep pit on a snowy day after a lion to slay it?

In 2 Samuel 23:20 and 1 Chronicles 11:22 we hear about a man – the son of a valiant warrior – who did exactly this. His name was Benaiah and these two verses show us how he valiantly served his king with all of his heart.

You and I come from a long line of valiant warriors. After all, we serve the Almighty God and His power is inside of us. So don’t be discouraged when something is trying to devour you. Run after it with the valiant strength of a warrior and slay your lion.

Names of God // Jehovah Magen

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I had the chance of growing up during one of the most exciting eras for new technology, the creation of video games and consoles. The implementation of PONG in the 70’s, followed by the Atari 2600, Coleco Vision and Intellivision consoles started off the revolution. Then the next era of Nintendo, Sega, NEC SuperGrafx and NeoGeo. Eventually we got to Playstations and Xboxes, and the revolution is now infinite to the world of gaming.

In midst of this revolution was also the personal computer. Starting with the Vic20, into the Commodore 64 and eventually the Amiga the predecessor of the modern computer. Personal computers brought video gaming to whole new level. Can’t even imagine how many hours I played games in my childhood. As the creation of FPS’ with Duke Nukem and Doom appeared on the scene, they competed heavily with an era of RTS games of Dune, Age of Empires and Command & Conquer. 

It was during this time that my fascination with military conquests, armies and war began. It would be fair to say that we developed a mild addiction to AOE. It was a game with many different civilizations and military strategies. Each uniquely designed with different units and armour. It was the armour that was so cool. Particularly the shields that complemented the armour set. The styles and purposes for each type to protect in a different way always peaked my interest. So when I heard one day that God had a name as a shield, I was all over it. So today we gonna look at Jehovah Magen, God my Shield.

Let’s look at two scriptures to bring this out. Psalms 18:1-2 (NKJV) and Psalm 91:4 (NKJV)

“I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield (Magen), and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”

He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler (Magen);

I choose these two scriptures because they bring out something relevant. One translates the word shield and the other buckler. In the second scripture it actually says shield and buckler separately. Personally, I found this confusing so I looked into it. So when you look up the word Magen, it means “A shield; a protector; also the scaly hide of the crocodile” Scutes (scales on crocs): serve a protective function; body armour against environmental abrasions and predators.

BUCK’LER is a kind of SHIELD, or piece of defensive armor, anciently used in war. On the middle was an umbo, boss or prominence, very useful in causing stones and darts to glance off. 

A buckler differs from a shield in that a shield is carried by straps and worn on the arm whereas the buckler is held in a “fist” grip. Over time, the weapon has changed and developed regardless of whether it was held in the fist or worn on the arm. What can be said is that the buckler was small and more maneuverable as a hand-held shield for deflecting and punching blows then the larger often full body defensive shields. A buckler actual is combination piece that is used offensively as well, as it is an object that assaults your foe.

So really what does this mean, it means that God is not only a full body shield for us but he is also a smaller fist shield used in combat. They both are shields, they both serve a purpose and they are both effective weapons of war. As time has continued we have seen the evolution of bubble shields, these can completely surround us on ever side. Ultimately God is a shield to us on every side and when I pray, I like to envision myself surrounded by this impregnable defense system of the Lord. 

The Bible says Jehovah is a shield to those who walk uprightly (Proverbs 2:7), trust him (2 Samuel 22:31), and fear him (Psalm 115:11). What does this tell us? It reveals that we need to be confident with our trust in God and walk in the fear of the Lord. This is a life of faith, but as we do so we can surely know that our God is going to hedge us in on every side as we go through the storms of life. 

Another attribute of the shield we discussed was that they had an umbo in the middle of them. This was important because as the enemy sends attacks of fiery arrows, the umbo deflects them to the side. The attacks against us end up being useless duds as they fall to our feet. We have to always remember that we are in a war everyday. Sometimes, we can sure up in the fortress, but other times we are on the front lines of the battle and Jehovah Magen being our shield is a strong defense on the battlefield. It should always be remembered that not only does a shield protect, but it allows us to advance as well.

Here is how you can pray the name of Jehovah Magen. Father God, I thank you that you are my shield this day. That I can be confident knowing that you surround me, you protect me when trouble is near. When the onslaught of things come against me, my character, my family, my finances etc., I know that you are hedging me in from the enemy’s attacks. Your word says that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, and I know that the weapons the enemy uses this day will deflect off your shield and fall to my feet.